Cutting bait on February 23, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I have been dating the same guy for eight years and we have both been faithful to each other religiously. He says that he loves me. The only problem is that I can’t seem to get him to commit to our relationship (I mean marriage). I’m not getting any younger (I’m 28), and I want babies! Any advice?

— Cameo

Dear Cameo,

This is easy for Breakup Girl (who is older than not getting any younger) to say, but here it is: walk. I don’t mean that you should say, “I’m walking out if you don’t commit! Look at me! Here I go! Yoo-hoo! I’m walking! I am so walking sort of near that door! Waaaaalking! Watch me go…!” I also don’t mean walk out the door, and then walk by his house ten minutes later to see if he’s committed “yet.” I mean: walk.

What, does Breakup Girl believe that a relationship ain’t no thing if it ain’t got that ring? No. Does she want to promote the stereotype that a girl’s best friend is all a woman wants, needs, and hopes for? No. I’m just going with what you’re telling me: that marriage and babies are what you want, and that they may not, alas, be available in your current (eight-year!) relationship. You can’t get him to commit; go get what you want with someone who wants the same thing. And the thing is — I hesitate to say this, because I am in NO way advocating game-playing — but, well, when you walk, this guy just might realize that he is that someone.

Love,
Breakup Girl