Since life is so often stranger than fiction (people stealing leaves in India, doctors pulling screws and nails from a metal-eating man, the Clapper), the Bush Theatre in England decided to go to the source when conceiving its newest show, “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover,” which opens its run Saturday at the Latitude Festival.

The theater asked people to share their worst (or “best,” depending) breakup experiences, 50 of which found their way into the 50-minute play, performed by two men and two women. The breakup lines uttered range from the classic “Let’s just be friends” to the soon-to-be classic “I’m dumping you by changing my Facebook status.”

I once was dumped by a guy who apparently decided the only was to get rid of me was to drop out of college and drive from Louisiana to Alaska to work on a fishing boat. I got a postcard letting me know. That one’s perhaps better for an epistolary novel, or Discovery Channel reality show, but hey: tell us what vignette would you have offered for inclusion in this real-life art?