No one’s laughing on February 16, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I met this guy in my home town through a radio dating service. The quintessential blind date, but wait, here’s a bonus: he’s adorable, has his own business, has no children, no ex-wives, no psychological problems to speak of but … he has zero sense of humor. He is about as dry as a piece of wheat toast. I think I intimidate him because I got about an inch over him in the height department. And I have a strong personality. Okay, here comes the problem: I blew him off a couple of months ago because it was too difficult being witty all by myself. But get this: I get a call asking how I’ve been and all that — and that now he knows it’s me he wants to be with. And that he has had this soul-searching revelation, and he doesn’t want to grow old alone, blah, blah, blah. But he still hasn’t acquired any personality traits that I can see. What should I do? I mean he is terribly sweet, and a kind person, but just as dull as a board. Am I a shallow person? I mean the usual dregs that I fall for have me grabbing my side with hysterical laughter — and later clutching my heart trying to keep it from falling to pieces because they have dogged me out. Help me please — all my girlfriends think I’m crazy, and that I should lock him up and keep him to myself. What do you think? Am I crazy?

— Crazy in Camden

 
Dear Crazy,

Sometimes it’s hard to tell with girlfriends. I’m sure yours mean well — like, that they wouldn’t tape record your phone conversations for fun and profit. But Breakup Girl does have the funny feeling that they think you’re nuts to lose this guy largely because of the prevailing (though not necessarily accurate) sense that any stable, dateable man who is NOT a weirdo should (counter to standard mental health procedure) be locked up and kept.

So quiz them: do they think you’re crazy to give up someone, anyone? Or is it that they — as sharp galpals so often do — have noticed some cool thing about your dynamic with W. Toast that you haven’t?

But here’s the bottom line: if your gut is telling you it needs busting, trust it.

Love,
Breakup Girl