Climbing the corporate lad, from February 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

Now that I’m over my ex (although there are still a few of his belongings in my garage; I think I’ll create some metal art), I’m ready to move on. There is a fellow at my workplace whom I’ve recently met; he works in another department in another building, is friendly and has a photograph of he and his daughter on his desk (no wife). I would like to get to know more about him. Well, in this world of appropriate workplace behaviour, how do I get the two of us together outside of the office in order to find out more about him? In my position at work I am confident and can tackle the unknown, but in my personal life I can’t seem to initiate that first step. What’s a professional woman to do?

— Tired of Following the Rules

 
Dear Tired,

About the photograph: good eye.

You say that you’re less confident in your personal life than in your professional life. That’s common, but in the case of potential office romance, it’s also wise to be cautious. Even though love-at-work is as old as the world’s oldest profession, the days of women being suspected of sleeping their way to the middle are not over. Especially not if Kenneth Starr has his way.

That said, you’re fortunate, because the fact that he’s in a different building/department gives you a little more latitude, both in flirting terms and in case of breakup (hey, I’m Breakup Girl — I gotta look ahead). So listen, you’ve obviously already talked to him; go talk to him again. Just go. Don’t make up stories about “toner problems” to explain why you had to use the copier on his floor. You spotted the photo — ask leading questions about other stuff in his office. (“Koosh ball? I play Koosh ball!” etc.) See where it goes. If all else fails, use this known ice-breaker: ask if he has a welding mask you can borrow (you know, “metal art”).

Love,
Breakup Girl