My dad has done a lot of things for me. He taught me to drive. He bought me my first car. He changed the oil in said car. But of all the car-related things my dad has done for me, he has not once, in ALL the years I’ve known him, ever set fire to my ex-boyfriend’s garage. Not once.

Should I feel, I don’t know, somehow deprived? Like my dad wasn’t involved enough in my life?