Currently available on our Zazzle store:

Breakup Girl Greeting Cards! Eight different designs from Valentine’s Day to … Presidents Day? From “will they?” to “they won’t!”
Breakup Girl Beer Stein (*May Include Goggles) Perfect for dispensing liquid courage or consolation!

Currently available on Amazon:

Breakup Girl to the Rescue by Lynn Harris (Back Bay Books) The original compendium of advice letters.
Breakup Girl by Lynn Harris and Chris Kalb (Goldmann) The German edition of Breakup Girl to the Rescue.
He Loved Me, He Loves Me Not by Lynn Harris, illustrated by Chris Kalb (Harper Perennial) It all started here!

Pining on December 14, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I dated this girl in high school for 2 years. We were deeply in love but we broke up under stressful circumstances. Let’s just say we got in trouble with the law, and we split up. Well, it has been about 6 months since and we are at different colleges now. We have recently been talking on the phone and we have put all the bad things in the past. She is now dating someone, but she tells me it isn’t serious, which I believe because she has known him for like a month. I have dated around some but I am still in love with her, and her roommate tells me she is still in love with me and she talks about me all the time. When I see her next at X-mas I want to tell her how I feel and try to get back together with her. Can you help me figure this out or do you have any advice for me?

— Matt

Dear Matt,

Oooh, was she the Mousketeer? No, wait, you’re too young. Also, Christmas is too late. If you’re going to tell her how you feel, do it now (phone is fine), before they’ve been going out for much more than a month — and before they seal a de facto deal with a misty, mistletoey winter- break goodbye. Yes, poaching will get you in trouble with BG Law, but the loophole here is that Major Relationship Severed Mostly by Circumstance trumps One-Month Something-or-Other.

Hope things work out. And no more, like, crime, okay? If anything, what you should get in trouble with next is the distance.

Love,
Breakup Girl

Moving fast on December 14, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I am currently in a relationship with a really nice guy. I told him initially that I just wanted to be friends, but he insisted that I give him a chance. I did and we are really great friends and lovers, the problem is that he lives in DC and I live in NY. He wants me to quit my job and move in with him. I love my job and I do not want to give up my job or my life for anyone. I am at the height of my career and feel that there should be some compromise on the part of both people, not just one person.

He says he agrees, but gives me this sorry excuse that he can’t move to NY. He is now talking about getting married and taking a vacation together this Christmas. He introduced me to his family, which I was not ready for at all. I have only known him for 3 months and I have expressed that I think he is moving way too fast. I have been thinking about breaking up with him, but he will not take no for an answer. I also don’t want to be rude and hurt his feelings and risk losing a great friend; but, he’s at the point where he is entirely too overbearing and pushy. Please advise.

— ATP

BG’s advice after the jump!