Is NECCO not keeping up with internet memes fast enough for you? Customize your own candy hearts and send them as an eCard. Also check out our traditional eCards and IRL greeting cards!

Today we’re posting two more Valentines that cover unserved markets: The first is for people who want to avoid V-Day altogether, and invoke February’s OTHER holiday, Presidents Day; the second is ideal for sending to single friends who probably won’t be getting any love this year. Order now to insure delivery by Valentine’s Day!

Not taking things to the next level on May 25, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

Hi. I know you’ve written about Friend Boys, but so far no one has seemed to share my curse, so my variation on the theme hasn’t been addressed. I hope you can help.

My problem is this: I believe a solid romantic relationship is built on a solid friendship. The main reason I feel this is that when you date, pretense and airs are, well, up in the air. When you get to know someone as a friend, you get to know the real them, because they have no reason to put on airs. Also, while I’ll check out the hottie in the tight red dress, I could never find myself attracted to someone on any level beyond the physical unless I really know her. Unfortunately, this has left me on the business end of a bad Catch-22.

See, whenever I get to know a woman well enough to develop feelings for her and try to bring the friendship to a “new level,” she says that I can’t because I “know her too well,” and vice versa.

WHAT GIVES?

Women are constantly complaining about never knowing what their man is thinking, or that he never knows what they are feeling, or that he is just too confusing, and yet, when presented with someone whom they are very close to, and who knows them so well (and again, vice versa), they say, “Uh-uh, no way.” Sigh.

–The Shadow Knows

(more…)

We’ve just added two new Valentines to our lineup of Breakup Girl greeting cards. Both are new versions of classic e-postcards from back in the day. The “alternate universe” one was originally inspired by an unrequited love situation, but also works for exes that have some level of regret, or potential couples that just never seem to find the right time or place to make it happen. “Have a Super Valentine’s Day” is inspired by those little boxed Valentines we used to exchange in elementary school — perfect for friends or even friends-with-potential. Order a box!

Now you no longer have to settle for mere eCards. Breakup Girl Valentines have made the leap to IRL with new Greeting Cards from Zazzle just in time for the holiday! Many of the store-bought cards out there may not strike the particular tone you’re looking for: Breakup Girl to the rescue! Whether you think V-Day is kinda dumb, deeply uncool, or just too much, we’ve got you covered. Plus, we will be adding new cards through the end of the week.

Chloe of Feministing, hilariously, on Tasmania’s (!) first female premier:

Lara Giddings was the youngest person ever elected to Australian parliament, winning her seat when she was just 23 years old…This week, she became the first woman to be sworn in as Premier of the state of Tasmania, after serving for two and a half years as the state’s second ever female Deputy Premier. This means that in addition to having its first woman Prime Minister, Australia now has a woman at the helm in three of our seven states. Which is all well and good…but…[l]et’s talk about what really matters: does she have a strong manly husband and lots and lots of babies to offset the unpleasant fact that she is a woman with power? The answer is no. She does not. She is 38, unmarried, childless and OH MY GOD FREAK OUT.

Further reading: “Leftist Lara Giddings Still Looking for Mr. Right.” And:

Clearly, this situation must be rectified immediately. If you are an eligible man who would like to marry, impregnate and raise children with the Premier of Tasmania, please consider applying for the position of Validator of Lara Giddings’s Existence. The ideal candidate will be manly enough to prove beyond doubt that the leader of Tasmania is not a lesbian, but not manly enough to prevent the newspapers from mocking him for being less powerful than his ball-busting wife.

Spot on, mate.