My boyfriend of two and a half years dumped me last week because he is afraid of commitment (that’s what he says anyway). I know he feels bad because he cannot even look at me without getting tears to his eyes. I also know that we were very happy together. He never mentioned the fear to me before then and I kept saying to him “I saw a really pretty ring today.” I am so confused because I know he loves me and I know this is tearing us both apart. I can’t even call him because I want to give him his space. I gave him a book yesterday about fear of commitment and how to overcome it. My question is should I even have any hope that he will be able to face this fear and possible come back to me? One of his biggest fears is kids. He does not want any kids but he thinks I do. I have tried to tell him that all I really want is him. I am so confused. HELP!
I’m 48 and I just met a 33-year-old Swiss cellist who says I “stimulate him in every way possible.” Is it ridiculous to think of having any more than a “good time” with him?
— KS
Dear KS,
Well, you know what they say about Swiss cellists. I mean, I hope you do, because Breakup Girl does not. Perhaps you’re alluding to the age difference? Well, if you like him, give him a chance — just conduct yourselves adagio at first.
The New York Times reports today on the ladyfashions that lit up the most recent ComicCon: “Visitors were garbed as their favorite cartoon heroines, an outlandish cast of characters that varied from Wonder Woman to the violet-haired Faye of ‘Cowboy Bebop,’ the Japanese manga and anime series, to pink crinoline-clad Lolitas that were candy-coated variations on the brooding goth originals who strut their style on Tokyo’s streets.” The whole piece is not only great fun, but also a major Halloween costume idea delivery system. The only thing that bummed me out (not the article’s fault): the frequent descriptions of Wonder Woman’s costume as inspiration. The old Wonder Woman. Le sigh.
Gay issues have been in the news a lot lately, from the debate over same-sex marriage in Congress to a sickening rash of gay-bashing here in New York City. We see a lot of emotion out there, instead of information, and we wanted to provide some data-based context on sexuality so that people might make better choices about what they say, think, and do.
We run a massive dating site and therefore have unparalleled insight into sex and relationships. Here’s what we’ve found, in numbers and charts…
Their data-based results include: gay people are not out to bed breeders, gay people are not “promiscuous” (even on a dating site), and a whole lot of people are gay-curious. (BG: Possibly, in some cases, those who are gay-furious.) Anyway, just go read it. It’s quite important, and also very funny. That’s it. I just wanted to give the report, and its mission, an even bigger high-five than I could in 140 characters. VOTE CUOMO!
Rick Springfield, sigh, was my second love. And now he’s written his first memoir, with nary a mention of me. This, I venture gingerly to say, is perhaps not a bad thing. Perhaps, much like a General Hospital subplot, we — the female eighth-graders of the world — collectively faked blindness to be with him? Then again, we don’t read celebrity memoirs for the articles, as it were, and yes, this one includes some very handsome photographs. Plus, as BG blogger Amy notes, “I sorta love him for a VH1 thing I saw, like 10 years ago, where these girls had a little dance they did JUST IN CASE they ever met Rick Springfield and he had them doing on stage with them as adult ladies. Come on, how can a guy like that be all bad?” He can’t. Let’s just put it this way: I wanna tell him I could ghost-write, but the point is prob’ly moot.
Anyway! Giveaway! I’ve got a copy of Late, Late at Night right here, with your name on it, unless your name is Jesse, courtesy of Simon & Schuster. And we’re gonna make this wicked easy for you. It’ll go to the first person who e-mails me with:
1) the best-ever quote from, title of, or sheer existence of a celebrity memoir
2) the best-ever brief anecdote about the death-by-disillusionment of a celebrity crush
3) a photograph of her or himself, preferably from the actual 1980s, that constitutes a homage to Rick Springfield
or
4) wild card: any other Rick Springfield-related awesomeness.
I KNOW YOU’VE SEEN THIS. But while it was going viral, BG was staring at her supercomputer hitting refresh every 15 minutes to vote for David Tennant. And we didn’t want this not to go down on our permanent record. So.
I’m attracted to a girl I always see hanging out on a stoop in my neighborhood. How should I approach her?
Just say hello and something like, “I see you in the neighborhood all the time. Do you live here?†Ask questions and listen. Talk less. Be present. Listen for that thing you have in common that you can discuss. This girl might be a really cool person, and she might never live up to your romantic expectations, but take a moment to see.
I lived with a guy for 6 years–in December he FINALLY asked me to marry him. In January, I had a biopsy to confirm whether or not I had cancer, and then he got REALLY weird. A week after the biopsy, and three days before the results, he dumped me. (The old “I love, but am no longer IN LOVE with you” speech!) I think that he just couldn’t deal with the fact that I’m sick, but I can’t really reconcile this, as several years ago he had helped me nurse my grandfather, who was dying of cancer. I can’t quite deal with this. I feel like if he couldn’t love and support me through this, how can I expect someone else to?
We have had little contact with each other since the breakup. He called me several times after he found out about my diagnosis, and was totally sweet–even hinted around about us getting back together. But when I came back to town a few days later to see doctors and talk to him, he acted like he never even said we should talk about getting back together, which he had. After that, I refused to speak to him, and we have divided property and settled everything via e-mail only.
The thing is, he’s obviously a jerk, but I still love him. Any advice?
I’m just wondering: if a girl whom you have known for a year suddenly tells you that:
a) she broke up with her boyfriend
b) you’re born under the same astrological sign (birthdays one day apart) as her ex-boyfriend, and
c) apart from that, however, you’re nothing like him,
What does this mean?
She likes you? Yes, no, maybe.
— Tiger Man
Dear Tiger,
Yes, she likes you. But if you want to be safe, I’d wait until Rebound goes into retrograde.
Charles Atlas meets the 97-pound weakling meets that guy who’s so handsome he never really had to develop a personality meets … well, many, many women in Japan. It’s Charisma Man! I’m pretty sure the images of Japanese culture are reductive, if not offensive, but (as you’ll see) the underlying notion that the same person can be different people to different people — follow me? — is spot on. What do you think?
e-mail to a friend in need
Nothing to fear but April 20, 1998…
right here, with your name on it, unless your name is Jesse, courtesy of Simon & Schuster. And we’re gonna make this wicked easy for you. It’ll go to the first person who e-mails me with:
