Today’s lesson: it’s hard to be homophobic when the gay guy is your cool teach.

Living in sin on January 28, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

My boyfriend and I are engaged to be married this fall. We recently decided to move in together to help cut down on the costs of living separately. We both looked forward to the idea of saving money until we approached his parents with the idea. Needless to say, we took them by surprise. His parents are very much against the idea of us moving in together before we are married. They have said that if we do go through with moving in together, we need to get married first. My boyfriend and I are really unsure as to how to handle his parents’ actions. There is no way for us to get married before our set date in the fall; my boyfriend is finishing up college and I still need to save up a little more money for our wedding. What is the polite way to tell my boyfriend’s parents to leave us alone, and that we plan to move in together with or without their blessing? And should we just tell them to butt out since they aren’t helping to pay for any of the wedding? This conflict with his parents is taking its toll on my boyfriend and me.

— Unsure in Missouri

(more…)

Out-numbered on January 28, 1998...

Dear Breakup Girl,

Is it so much a relationship if we break up six times a year but make up seven times over?

— Yvonne

 
Dear Yvonne,

That’s not a relationship, that’s a math problem.

Love,
Breakup Girl

Telling it like it should be on January 26, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,

I am a married woman in love with a married man. Do you think married people have the right to be in love with someone else? I never want to cheat on my husband, but I am very in love with the other man. Please help.

–Nano

 
Dear Nano,

Do married people have the right to be in love with someone else? Yeah. And the KKK has the right to march, and Hanson has the right to sing. These “rights” are principles; they don’t mean that nobody gets hurt. You’re doing your best to be noble, but clearly something is amiss. The question you really should be asking is: “Where did I write the number of that marriage counselor?”

Love,
Breakup Girl

Since we aren’t all lucky enough to be tasked with the top-secret duty of raising the Baby of Infinite Cuteness, some of us single gals have to consider turning to alternative means to heed the call to motherhood.

I was just sharing with my 20-something roommate this week my increasingly serious thought to stop waiting for a man and just have a baby on my own. As she has, by comparison, all the time in the world, she thought I was insane. But as it turns out, I’m neither insane, nor alone.

Writing at Babble.com, Nan Mooney recently detailed her attempt to get pregnant without a boyfriend — complete with Pulp Fiction soundtrack — and its seemingly happy ending. So much so that she’s contemplating Kid #2 with apparently awesome babydaddy Zachary.

I love him. It’s not the kind of connection I’d searched for in the past, the romantic whirlwind that would end in registering at Target or eloping to France. It’s the kind that stems from being on the receiving end of a single act of tremendous generosity. When, a couple of months in, I finally worked up the courage to ask Zachary why he agreed to do this, his answer left me no doubt that I’d made the right choice: “I just thought you’d make a really good mom.”

It’s a sweet, compelling piece about adjusting to a different kind of three-way love. That said — sue me — I’m still not sure I’m quite willing to give up the Target-registry dream. Though yes, I hear they have them for babies, too.

I ask you, have times become so tough that this is what we have come to?

Q. How does a 45-year-old woman compete for a job with a 25-year-old in today’s fiercely competitive market?

A. With employment enhancement packages — including new boobs and body!

Aaaaand we quote, from an actual! press! release! received here at BG HQ promoting a “Job Fighter Package,” in which a Park Avenue plastic surgeon helps “men and women gain the edge on their competition with their new, cosmetically enhanced looks.” (Specifically, as we’re sure you noted, of their “boobs and body.”)

The release also plays bizarro matchmaker with industry and body part:

Are you trying to land a job in the finance industry? The eyes speak volumes about you — get an eye lift.

Looking for a job as an Executive Administrative Assistant? Consider a boob job and a butt lift to ensure you won’t be forgotten after the interview.

Eager to get back into the real estate game? Go for a face lift to get that fresh faced, polished look.

Hoping to get into PR? Just … don’t.

According to  Tony Dovolani, a pro on ABC’s Dancing With The Stars, dancing can improve your relationship, and not just with Bruno Tonioli. In fact, Dovolani spends time between seasons helping couples cha-cha, waltz, and salsa their groove back.

“It’s almost like you have a newfound love for each other,” Dovolani told Tango. “Discovering new steps together teaches couples to interact with each other. They’re looking into each other’s eyes, anticipating the next move. It opens up energy channels of feeling and connection. It rejuvenates everything.”

Can Dovolani even teach the broken-hearted to boogie back? ‘Cause we’re rooting for Rycroft in more ways than one.

(Puzzled by the subject line? Click here. It’s a classic.)

Speaking of Carrie and Randy, I told you so.

From today’s New York Times:

Moreover, teenage girls can’t be expected to support Rihanna just because of her gender, youth culture experts say. They see themselves as sharing equal responsibility with boys. Parity, not sisterhood, is the name of the game.

During a presentation about dating violence [!!!] to ninth graders at Hostos-Lincoln Academy this week, one girl said, “If they hit you, smack them back. Both my parents say that to me.”

When Danielle Shores, 17, a high school junior in Austin, Tex., heard about the fight, she thought: “Yeah, men hit women, and women hit men. It was blown out of proportion because they’re celebrities.”

She sounded miffed. “My best friend got hit by her boyfriend, and I don’t see people making a big deal about it,” Ms. Shores said.

Good: girls see themselves and their peers as strong, expected to take care of themselves. Sad: that means hitting back — and shrugging it away* — rather than telling anyone who hits them to step the eff off.

What, if not this, is it gonna take? For the moment, I have no answers.

* At least outwardly. Wonder how many are trembling, or at least conflicted, inside.

Alexis?!?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!

Therapy: Watch Carrie and Randy over and over and over.

P.S. The “fix” is out.

An impressively dopey article on CNN.com alerts us to the news that Washington-based publisher Bluewater Productions has released a series of comic books featuring Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin.

“We really want to show strong, independent, female role models in comics,” said Darren Davis, Bluewater’s president, who didn’t explain how Palin got on that ticket, either. The first two issues in “Female Force,” already out, feature Clinton and Palin. Up next: Caroline Kennedy — huh? – and Michelle Obama. (Well, we know she’s got guns.)

“Comic fans approve of the idea,” note the not-so-ace reporters. To wit: “‘I think it just says, like, that women are important,’ one comic book fan told CNN.'” (Quoth our tipster, “Who’s doing this sourcing, Judy Miller?”)

And: “Another [!] added, ‘It shows that comics aren’t just about guys in tights beating each other up — it’s about information, it’s about understanding people a little better.” (“It’s about information”? This is a job for…The Quote Puncher-Upper!)

Plus: “We’re in a very politically-minded time right now,” said Richard Laermer, CEO of a public relations firm and author of several books on banalities marketing.

We “fans” well know that comics are by no means only about “guys in tights beating each other up” in the first place. But, dopey piece notwithstanding, Female Force’s fare could totally be good, you know, if it’s good. But honestly, I’m already impressed enough with [most of] these women in real life.