David “Californication” Duchovny reportedly in rehab for sex addiction.

I do not want to believe.

“When a girl is dressing to show off, it is hard for guys because they are stimulated by what they see.”

Seriously, folks, who writes this stuff?

Oh, right! Humorless, fear-mongering, self-righteous moralists do.

Before there was BG, there was supermuscleman Charles Atlas,* who helped the 97-pound weaklings of the world find love by bulking themselves up and punching bullies out. “Chumps” became “champs,” and then the ladies — well, “They obey your silent commands.”

Oh no wait,that part was the sea monkeys.

Of course, with your X-Ray Specs, you could see right through all this goofy advertising, but instead — much more fun — you could enjoy, via Boing Boing, this wee gallery of jaunty old comic book ads, which led me to all sorts of [more elaborate] others as well. See you at the ant farm!

* Please enjoy this bonus reading by FOBG Todd Levin!

Headline of the week from The Daily Mail: “50,000 women abandoning church every year as Buffy the Vampire Slayer turns them on to witchcraft.”

Dr. Kristin Aune of the University of Derby, “said many young women are put off going to church because they link it with traditional values,” the Mail reported, adding, “She also said television icons such as Buffy the Vampire Slayer, who promote female empowerment, discourage women from attending services.”

Hmm! Reminds me of that classic from BG anti-crush Pat Robertson: “Feminism encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.”

Well. Who says we can’t have it all?

Now Christian Bale has to return my calls!

News from The American Sociological Association: “For years, researchers have known that adults who have swapped rings say they are healthier than their never-married peers are. According to a recent study, though, singles are catching up when it comes to good health.”

Among self-reports by adults ages 25 to 80, never-married folks reported a quality of health close to that of all those hale and glowing married folks in the New York Times.

But wait! The ASA article is all about “never-married adults” and “people” and otherwise gender-neutralicious until paragraph 5. Then this: “This narrowing health gap between the married and the never married applies only to men, but not women.” Hey! No fair burying the lede, and … no fair! The piece also doesn’t mention that the apparent health benefits of marriage apply predominately to men in the first place.

(more…)

Here, your weekly installment — now on Mondays!* — of Ask Lynn, the advice column penned by BG’s alter ego at MSN.com (powered by Match.com). This week we meet Edgy in Erie, and right away we see where she got her classic alliterative nom-de-lovelorn:

“I find myself on edge all the time,” she writes of her boyfriend, “because …

1. He hasn’t followed through with the divorce.
2. He has cheated on me with her.
3. He talks to her often and seems overly concerned with the goings-on of her life (beyond kid-related things).”

Yep, Erie, we’re all edgy now too.

How to take that edge off? Find out what Lynn has to say here, and then come back here to comment!

* Our latest season of all-new adventures wrapped up last Monday >sniff<! Stay tuned for more …

cares enough to send the very gayest!

Send ’em a thank you card!

for VP. So sayeth The Frisky, here.

Obama-Sarandon 08!

for BG’s Biggest GirlCrush: The Movie.