We enjoyed this ruefully sweet essay by Sofi Papamarko in today’s Salon.com, in which she gets sucked into The Sims as an alternative to her — she felt — stalled single universe, which appeared to be late in delivering her standard coupled-up fantasies:
It is impossible to overstate how astonishingly easily my dream life came to me, how addictively its rewards added up. At the beginning of the game, for instance, I was given a charming little house in a nice neighborhood. Given! It was handed to me! I didn’t have to scrimp or save or deal with real estate agents or even apply for a mortgage! Landing a terrific job was as easy as showing up to the town hall in a pair of tight leather pants. I told my boss a couple of jokes and was instantly rewarded with a promotion and a healthy raise. In real life, my neglected tomatoes wither on the vine, despite my best intentions. In the game, I harvested huge, succulent crops after watering them no more than twice. I became a master angler and a gourmet cook, whipping up red snapper and catfish gumbo as if I were the secret love child of Nigella Lawson and Bobby Flay. Everything was easy.
And then I met Walter.
Ooh! Read the rest to find out how virtual Walter — and Bernie, and Jack — help Sofi discover that her reality is pretty fantastic, after all.
This has gotta be one of the best examples of art imitating life we’ve ever seen: Ships That Pass is, to use the site’s own verbiage, “a collection of fake, imaginary and literary missed connections posted to Craigslist and then re-posted here [at Ships That Pass’ Tumblr page] with real responses.” The brainchild of Brooklyn-based poet Brett Fletcher Lauer (who’s written an awesome guest post about the endeavor here), it’s what an online performance-art installation commissioned by Margaret Mead might look like. Or a post-millennial, dot-com remake of those Griffin & Sabine pop-up-ish epistolary epics of my romantically angst-addled adolescence. (Anybody else remember those?) [YES!!!! Sob! — BG]
Here’s how it works: Myriad poets, writers and artists craft ersatz missed-connection posts, complete with the fictitious posters’ ages and the appropriate tag (m4w, w4m, m4m, w4w). These are uploaded to Craigslist as any real missed-connection missive would be; simultaneously, they appear on Ships That Pass. Should any unsuspecting Craigslist readers reply to the post, those emails are readable on Ships That Pass as follow-ups to the original. On the flip side, should a suspicious Craigslister flag a post for removal — as has happened a handful already — news of that post’s untimely demise is likewise reported. A missed connection that receives no action at all (overwhelmingly the case) is earmarked with a little sad face like the Zoloft mascot, informing Ships That Pass readers of “Another Missed Connection Missed.”
As anyone who’s read missed connections for sport knows, it’s the unknowable of “But did Girl with Nose Ring Wearing Military Jacket ever hear from Guy Reading The Tender Bar on the Uptown 2 Train?” that feeds their addictiveness. That, and the messages’ unbridled sentimentality. Whereas Craigslist’s other alt-personals, Casual Encounters and Misc. Romance, can depress the hell out of anyone hoping for a shred of flirtation, intrigue, chivalry or grammar to hang onto, Missed Connections is a bastion of well-intentioned, intelligently penned, old-fashioned courtship. One’s for nutjobs; the other’s for l’amour fou.
Enjoying the newly-habit-forming element of “Is it live or is it Ships That Pass?” probably won’t bode well for anyone’s to-do list. And then there’s the question of whether Missed Connectioning under false pretenses is ultimately setting up a stranger for disappointment. Judging by the responses so far, though, it seems that what drives people to reply isn’t the expectation that they’ve been identified/fancied/remembered. It’s their complicit understanding that the heart wants what it wants, and their immutable belief in art for art’s sake.
Arianna Huffington introduces a new section, HuffPo Divorce:
“I’ve always thought that, as a country, we do a lousy job of addressing how we can do divorce differently — and better. Especially when there are children involved. That’s why I’m so excited about the launch of HuffPost Divorce.”
Anything that can help families cope with divorce is a good thing. Better still, a considered collection of personal, legal, practical, and psychological pieces that approach and elucidate divorce in the myriad ways… now that sounds really kinda awesome! Inspired by Nora Ephron, fleshed out by family law professionals, essays and advice, and authors of topical books.
It’s almost impossible not to feel a tiny tad jaded, thinking about divorce-affected people as a publishing niche, but that’s exactly what we are. Half the population! I wonder if this is the beginning of more like this.
Meanwhile, I welcome the story and information sharing that may well become a resource for one of life’s most changing events. As a person who went through a starter marriage in her twenties, and who is a child of divorce herself (actually, once I counted and there have been no fewer than 12 divorces in my immediate family) I’d love to dip in now and again to say, find ways to manage doubled parental visiting guilt and the impending holidays!
The New York Times reports today on the ladyfashions that lit up the most recent ComicCon: “Visitors were garbed as their favorite cartoon heroines, an outlandish cast of characters that varied from Wonder Woman to the violet-haired Faye of ‘Cowboy Bebop,’ the Japanese manga and anime series, to pink crinoline-clad Lolitas that were candy-coated variations on the brooding goth originals who strut their style on Tokyo’s streets.” The whole piece is not only great fun, but also a major Halloween costume idea delivery system. The only thing that bummed me out (not the article’s fault): the frequent descriptions of Wonder Woman’s costume as inspiration. The old Wonder Woman. Le sigh.
Rick Springfield, sigh, was my second love. And now he’s written his first memoir, with nary a mention of me. This, I venture gingerly to say, is perhaps not a bad thing. Perhaps, much like a General Hospital subplot, we — the female eighth-graders of the world — collectively faked blindness to be with him? Then again, we don’t read celebrity memoirs for the articles, as it were, and yes, this one includes some very handsome photographs. Plus, as BG blogger Amy notes, “I sorta love him for a VH1 thing I saw, like 10 years ago, where these girls had a little dance they did JUST IN CASE they ever met Rick Springfield and he had them doing on stage with them as adult ladies. Come on, how can a guy like that be all bad?” He can’t. Let’s just put it this way: I wanna tell him I could ghost-write, but the point is prob’ly moot.
Anyway! Giveaway! I’ve got a copy of Late, Late at Night right here, with your name on it, unless your name is Jesse, courtesy of Simon & Schuster. And we’re gonna make this wicked easy for you. It’ll go to the first person who e-mails me with:
1) the best-ever quote from, title of, or sheer existence of a celebrity memoir
2) the best-ever brief anecdote about the death-by-disillusionment of a celebrity crush
3) a photograph of her or himself, preferably from the actual 1980s, that constitutes a homage to Rick Springfield
or
4) wild card: any other Rick Springfield-related awesomeness.
I KNOW YOU’VE SEEN THIS. But while it was going viral, BG was staring at her supercomputer hitting refresh every 15 minutes to vote for David Tennant. And we didn’t want this not to go down on our permanent record. So.
Charles Atlas meets the 97-pound weakling meets that guy who’s so handsome he never really had to develop a personality meets … well, many, many women in Japan. It’s Charisma Man! I’m pretty sure the images of Japanese culture are reductive, if not offensive, but (as you’ll see) the underlying notion that the same person can be different people to different people — follow me? — is spot on. What do you think?
Do reality shows like Teen Mom and 16 And Pregnant “glamorize” teen pregnancy? That standard hand-wringer has always struck me as weird. Because um, those shows don’t exactly make teen pregnancy/motherhood look awesome. They (unlike, SORRY, Glee) actually make it look pretty crappy — a lot more so than, say, carrying around a sack of flour for a week. Even when cute teen moms glam it up for celeb magazines (which are guilty of overglamorizing post-teen motherhood), teens — who, turns out, are also better at condoms than grownups — still know what’s up.
And now we have the numbers to show it: according to two brand-new studies commissioned by The National Campaign To Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, “most teens (79% of girls and 67% of boys) agree that when a TV show or character they like deals with teen pregnancy, it makes them think more about their own risk of getting pregnant or causing a pregnancy and how to avoid it.” Other findings:
·        Among those young people who have watched MTV’s 16 and Pregnant, 82% think the show helps teens better understand the challenges of teen pregnancy and parenthood and how to avoid it.
·        76% of young people say that what they see in the media about sex, love, and relationships can be a good way to start conversations with adults.
·        About half (48%) say they have discussed these topics with their parents because of something they have seen in the media.
·        16 and Pregnant got young people talking and thinking about teen pregnancy─40% of those in the treatment group said they talked about the show with a parent, 63% discussed with a friend, and 37% discussed with a sibling.
·        93% of those who watched [a particular] episode agreed (53% strongly agreed) with the statement: “I learned that teen parenthood is harder than I imagined from these episodes.â€
This is all information we’re not so sure they’re getting in, say, abstinence-only sex ed — which, while we’re on the subject, glamorizes lies, shame, and fear. (And whose funding just got resuscitated, even as the Obama administration also awarded $155 million in federal grants to support evidence-based, medically accurate sex ed.)
Enough with the mixed messages, as Jessica Wakeman wrote at The Frisky, continuing: “If pregnant teen girls get their moment in the media’s graces, the least we can do is use it wisely. The alternative could be much, much worse.” Of course the media plays a role in the whole teen pregnancy ecosystem, but there are a whole lot of other reasons teens get pregnant, most of which are much, much more complicated and challenging than the simple notion of MTV cause-and-effect (which is exactly why we are reluctant to acknowledge and deal with them). Teens are smarter than we give them credit for. Sometimes, in fact — see phrases bolded above — they just want to talk.
Check out this whole-series Buffy trailer, which made me wishsohard I had the entire thing to watch over again, for the first time. For those of you non-Buffcore fans following along at home, yes, the series ended in 2003. And yes, people are still making these trailers. Still. Shouldn’t they (um) get over it and move on? (They even had the chance to rebound with Angel! And then Cordelia was even on Veronica Mars, which was like Buffy without the undead!)
Eh, I don’t think so. Because — as our tipster said — “the fact that fans are still working this turf really speaks to the power of a beloved story and the ability of media to create a sense of family.” Might seem weird, yes, but it’s undeniable and therefore important. Related: Show of hands — how many of you have, as a beginning-of-relationship rite of passage (through probably not pass/fail like the football trivia quiz in Diner), re-watched all of Buffy just so your new loved one could, you know, “understand”?
e-mail to a friend in need
pop-up-ish epistolary epics of my romantically angst-addled adolescence. (Anybody else remember those?) [YES!!!! Sob! — BG]
right here, with your name on it, unless your name is Jesse, courtesy of Simon & Schuster. And we’re gonna make this wicked easy for you. It’ll go to the first person who e-mails me with:
Do reality shows like Teen Mom and 16 And Pregnant “
