Take some small issues,
bake for two months at high heat.
Relationship’s done!
    -- Daniel Westreich

As Haiku Master, Daniel’s name will become myth; he will also get an excellent Palm V Connected Organizer to keep his busy social life on track.

I can’t stop thinking
about you, and how you are
blocking the TV.
    -- Joel Wheeler

Joel, our Master’s Apprentice, has earned history’s reverence... and also a cool portable CD player from Sony, plus three CDs hand-picked by Team BG.

What made the voices
in your head think the voices
in mine would say "yes"?
    -- Tom Heald,
       1999 Haiku Master

"You’re too good for me"
is so unpleasant to hear,
but in this case true.
    -- Catherine Kernen

If love means never
having to say you’re sorry,
he must love me, right?
    -- Eva Shea

You were my sunshine.
Or, rather, you were more like
harmful UV rays.
    -- Kristi Wheeler

Breakup dinner date.
"Let’s do Jamaican," I say,
and mumble, "You jerk."
    -- Tracy Nahas

Sitting on the fence.
Is it lonely for you there?
You must like wedgies.
    -- Kit Cooley

"Wine, women, and song"
beat out "a loaf of bread, a
jug of wine and me."
    -- P. Barwig

Devoid of life skills,
loser ex is back with Mom.
Next time, date orphan.
    -- Lisa Manescu

They were together
24-7 until
he 86’ed her.
    -- Tom Heald

Finding happiness
is a steep and rocky road
when dragging a man.
    -- Vicki Weisfeld

You say you love me.
But does love turn on and off?
Girl here, not light switch.
    -- Adessa

Cheese whiz o’ my heart,
sweet, studly curd of my soul,
pasteurize flows love.
    -- Terry Zee Lee

She "wanted change." He
put dimes in her meter. He
got drawn and quartered.
    -- Tom Heald

My long dating drought
has been reclassified a
"dating climate change."
    -- Zac Miner

Where the Hell is he!
Dressed to the nines at 10:10.
Come Ben, come Jerry.
    -- Kim Sterling

Slow dance. Carriage ride.
Wine, flowers... a firm
    handshake???
His perfect breakup.
    -- Kristi Wheeler

Biting, slobbering,
barking. Remind me, what’s great
about puppy love?
    -- Tom Heald

She left him because...
he thought "ellipse" had something
to do with the... sun.
    -- Karen Kanter

My heart’s for giving
again this year. To a saint,
not a massacre.
    -- Kriston Reinmuth

Though she’s home, she won’t
answer her collectable
S.I. football phone.
    -- Tom Heald

"Where’s your better half?"
If she was my better half,
I must be Satan.
    -- Mike Ricca

Aww! A card? For me!
"Happy Valentine’s Day, Sue."
I’m Jen -- I SHOULD sue.
    -- Tracy Nahas

Amicable? Sure,
we get along great these days.
Avoid the windows.
    -- Daniel Westreich

He popped the question,
but then ruined it with "Is that
your final answer?"
    -- Tom Heald