…you’re actually pretty normal, apparently.

Here, your weekly installment of Ask Lynn, the advice column penned by BG’s alter ego at MSN.com (powered byMatch.com). This week, we meet Not Sure, who, during a sloppy three-way (him, her, Johnnie Walker) blurted to her boyfriend that his “stamina” was “terrible.”

This did not go well.

What now? Can they bounce back … into bed and otherwise? Find out what Lynn has to say, and then come back here to comment!

And now, the epic “season finale” of The New Adventures of Breakup Girl!
BG faces everyone’s greatest fear…

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Oops.

Just one more thing — as promised — about John Edwards, now that BG is back from her trip to Elizabeth. I hesitate to add even this, given that we, as a blog (thanks, commenters!) and a nation, have said plenty. But just for the BG record, here goes.

Cheating is bad. GIVEN. No argument there, no intention of diminishing it on its face. Painful, too, is disappointment: finding out that those (dwindling few) whom we admire — for helping the humble! — have fallen slave to their own hubris.

But in the political, national, even human picture, this has only as much importance as we give it, which was way too much even before the maudlin mea-culpa-fest (which, huh, no one watched). It is not possible to name a political perpetration from the last eight-ish years that is less important than this. And yet we don’t hear Dick Cheney saying, “…All of which fed a self-focus, an egotism, a narcissism that leads you to believe that you can do whatever you want: you know, like lie your way into war” while he wells up to Woodruff. “Also, the baby? I ate it.”

Okay? Done. Keeping focus, readusting priorities; moving on. But — on the subject of oldish news about politicians and their spice — I’ll be happy to talk about this (or, hey, this) anytime.

The BBC reports that while a woman is naturally attracted to men who smell like a good genetic match (this, to me, would be a musky mix of garlic, teen spirit, and his excellent dog), the hormone havoc wreaked by the birth control pill may turn her on to the wrong guys. “Wrong” here meaning too genetically similar for species diversity, not (necessarily) “that unbelievable douchebag I can’t believe she likes.”

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You’ve got a friend on January 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,
For some reason, whenever I meet someone that I find cute and interesting, we always end up buddies when I would like more! How do I get past this and not feel rejected — and not lose a good friend?
– Everyone’s Buddy

Dear Everyone’s Buddy,
See, Jilted Guy?! This is the girl version of the Nice Guy thing — and yeah, it smarts. Wouldn’t it be nice, once in a while, to be intoxicatingly mysterious, to have men come up to you and say, “Friends, schmends, I must be your lover!” instead of “Hey, buddy, howaboutta game of horse?”

But try thinking of it this way: maybe there’s nothing wrong at all. Maybe, for some cosmic reason, you just happen to be the kind of person for whom serious relationships start out as — and develop most soundly from — friendship. If you trust that this will naturally evolve when it “should,” you’ll be playing a mean game of horse with your devoted hubby while Miss Tedious — I mean, Miss Terious — wishes she had more true friends.
Love,
Breakup Girl

Doubt sets in on January 9, 1998…

Dear Breakup Girl,
I fell in love with a 3-year-old (not literally) and I thought he was my knight in shining armor. I was seriously disillusioned the other day and now I’m not sure how to feel. Help!
– Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Standards, yes. Larger-than-life expectations, no. Listen, sistren, we have to relate to boyfriends as bonuses in our lives, not as Bob Villas who are going to spackle and caulk and make it look like everything’s all pretty and together. When we think, “Oh, if I can just have this boyfriend, then my life will be complete, world suffering will cease, and Buffalo will win the Super Bowl,” then of course disillusionment strikes — maybe even in the wrong place and for the wrong reason. So chalk this one up to “Whoops!” and start looking for someone whose personality type falls somewhere between the age three and medieval.
Love,
Breakup Girl

You’ve got to give swimmeur Laure Manaudou [for French readers] credit for staying afloat amidst “sex, lies, and videotape.” Still, BG may have to make a poolside appearance.

Here, your weekly installment of Ask Lynn, the advice column penned by BG’s alter ego at MSN.com (powered byMatch.com). This week, we meet Lost, who poses one of the biggies: why is breaking up so hard, even when my relationship is so bad?

The deets: “My boyfriend of five years feels like he has to hide everything and lie to me about who he speaks to. …We have fought constantly about it, and every time we fight we break up….he tries to blame me…. I do not think that he appreciates me. Am I stupid for wanting to stay with him? I think so. Then how do I get out of this?”

You mean, besides fast? Find out what Lynn has to say, and then come back here to comment!