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April 20, 1998   CONTINUED e-mail e-mail to a friend in need

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Dear Breakup Girl,

I am almost 17 years old and my heart is breaking. I started seeing a guy about two months ago. We were friends for quite a while and we talked every night on the phone. One night, to my surprise, he asked me out. Of course I said yes. We decided to go out the upcoming weekend.

We ended up in the backseat making out pretty heavily. That was the first time that I had made out that heavily. I was in love. I remember saying"I love you," and he said " Katie, we just started going out." I didn't think much of it then. All of a sudden he said we had to go. On the way home he said he just wanted to be friends. It hurt so bad. He stopped calling me altogether and he talked about me to his friends. I am so hurt, it's like he died or something. It's been a while, but I still miss him so much. I just can't understand. We shared everything together. These kind of things seem to happen to me a lot. I am not fat or ugly at all, but I just can't understand what the hell I keep doing wrong. I need someone who I can talk to about these problems. Thank You!

-- Katie


Ohhh, Katie.

I will tell you what happened if you promise not to take it as something you did WRONG. Okay, you probably will take it that way (because you're human), but I will tell you anyway. It's the "I love you" thing. Miss Katie, people freak out when they hear that after their first year together, never mind their first kiss. It was unusually early to say that, and this guy freaked out. But I can totally understand how it popped out of your mouth, because, well, look at what your mouth was doing for the first time. Your maiden voyage to the back seat is -- for better or for worse -- truly, deliciously, terrifyingly melodramatic in that way. But be careful. The feeling you felt in the back seat, while you may love it, is not love (unless your last name is Winslet, which is a different story). You'll see.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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