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Dear Breakup Girl,

Help! My boyfriend and I live two hours away from each other, and we see each other about three months total out of the year. Of course, he calls me once a week and we talk for two hours, but that's not what I'm asking about. I know you're not a dream interpreter, but I've been having these dreams in which the long and short of them is that I can't find him or that I never get to see him. A friend, Miriam, told me that it means that we weren't meant for each other. Another friend, Stephanie, told me that it meant that I needed to spend more time with him. Please tell me: who's right??? Stephanie, the optimist, or Miriam the pessimist? Help!

-- Rachel

Dear Rachel,

If we could just change Stephanie's name to, say, Esther, your letter would be positively biblical. Anyway, your dream about how you never get to see this guy means that...you never get to see this guy. There's got to be some Monty Python sketch in here about the thick dream interpreter who interprets dreams at the level of plot, but, well, so be it.

Now what I get to do is interpret your letter. The part where you write to ask Breakup Girl about how to interpret your dreams about this guy means that you're having some doubts about whether this distance thing is worth it.

So you tell me: how are your waking hours with this guy? And based on that, which interpretation do you want, Esther's (I know, I know, let me have my fun) or Miriam's? If you do want to spend more time with Dreamboat, then bring it up with him and find a way. But if you are starting to feel that you aren't meant for each other, then stop sleeping through the relationship and find someone else to dream about.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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