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Dear Breakup Girl,
Hmm... where to begin. It's not like this is exactly your typical BG-solved
sitch, but then again, maybe it's worthy of your superpowered consideration.
File this under "Surviving when single."
A bit of background. I'm 27 and single, which I'm fine with -- or at least
trying to be. It's getting to the point, though, that lots of my friends are no
longer single. I'm WAY fine with that. (Gives me hope.) My two friends from
college, and my two friends that they're married to (roommates married
roommates -- is that cute or what?) have recently moved into my area. The
couples have stayed in pretty close touch. Now, I'm DYING to get together to
catch up and reminisce, but there are a few problems.
1. Although I'm fine with being the "odd number," it could make
things a bit weird. I'd ask someone to join me, but talk about your "odd
numbers" -- have you ever gone along as a "second" out with a
bunch of old friends? NOT pretty. How to defuse the tension of being "the
lone singleton?"
2. Each couple now has one adorable kid each. This isn't a problem -- I have
two stellar nephews to brag about and I can "baby talk" with the best
of them. But this makes them getting a babysitter for the cherubs an issue.
Don't get me wrong, I love kids, but it's the parents I want to see. Do I, when
arranging this wing-ding, say "adults only" and maybe get turned down
because of a lack of sitter (or from being thought rude)?
3. Young families are usually not exactly rolling in dough, which could
present a challenge for the locale. I'd invite them to my house, but I share a
place and don't want to inconvenience my roommates. I don't want to invite
myself over to one of their houses, either. Ideas?
Finally, am I making too big of a deal about this? Any assistance
appreciated. Thanks!
-- Sorority Sistah
Dear Sorority,
There's a fine line between being extra-considerate
and not letting people be grownups and figure stuff out for themselves -- and
you're walking it, sistah. In #s 2 and 3, yeah, it's super nice of you to at
least anticipate some of the wrinkles these families might encounter, but it is
not your job to smooth them out. Invite them out to a casual yet
non-kid-appropriate restaurant, on the later side; the next time, suck it up
and do the zoo. As for #1, go it alone. I know it can be hard. But you guys
have enough in common, pre-this Shakespearean roommate switcheroo, that
presumably you won't be the odd gal out playing with your straw wrapper while
they compare caterers. Bring someone else, and you'll worry about him,
too.
Yes, I'm sure that having children has totally changed
their lives, but they are still your buddies. Trust them to meet you
halfway.
Love,
Breakup Girl
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