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Dear Breakup Girl,

My boyfriend has been really busy lately and things haven't been going well. (Busy with soccer, work, scouts, church, etc.) I still love him a lot but I think he is uncertain of his feelings for me and broke up with me. I have been trying really hard to be cheery around him (it's working quite well) so that he won't feel powerful over me and I'm trying to make him like me again and realize what he's missing out on. If you could help me find ways to get him back, I'd appreciate it a lot. I smiled at him and said "hi" in the halls today at school and he's looking about how I feel (he looked upset -- sad/angry/depressed -- I couldn't really tell but he was surely upset). Also, I'm a freshman and he's a junior and he asked me to prom about a month ago. I've got the dress, the shoes, the hair appointment, and when he broke up with me he said he still wanted to go but I don't know if I should or not. Do I go with him as friends? I am not sure he even wants to go -- maybe he's just being nice. And what if I end up going and have a terrible time or realize how much I miss him and start crying? Please help. Thanks.

-- Lisa

Dear Lisa,

Did you have the dress or shoes dyed-to-match ... him? I hope not, because you are fully free to wear themwith someone else on your arm. I share your hunch that (a) your ex-Date (to his partial credit) is just trying to be nice, and (b) you will feel lame, sad, and hollow going together Because You Said You Would. If I were you, I'd tell him nicely that you've decided thanks, but no thanks.

Think: Is there someone else you could ask -- someone who's neither Obvious Rebound Boy nor Absolute Last Resort Boy? Can you at least let word get out that in fact you are not going with The Junior? You never know; someone else might step out of the wings with a corsage. (But remember, The Date That Wasn't may turn up with someone else, especially if he'd already bought tickets. Prepare to deal.)

If nothing comes through, get on the horn. Cancel the hair appointment and call another friend who's not going. (YOU WILL NOT BE THE ONLY ONE.) Doll your bad selves up -- you've got the dress and shoes -- and drop the cash on a nice Ladies' Night dinner, something special that you'd never do otherwise. I know it's not the same. But darn it, I want you to wear that dress (and not just as a "costume"). We all accumulate enough skeletons in our closet; God forbid they should be made of unworn taffeta.

This should also serve as an answer your question about how to "make him" like you / "get" him back.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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