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Dear Breakup Girl,
Now that I'm over my ex (although there are still a few of his belongings in
my garage; I think I'll create some metal art), I'm ready to move on. There is
a fellow at my workplace whom I've recently met; he works in another department
in another building, is friendly and has a photograph of he and his daughter on
his desk (no wife). I would like to get to know more about him. Well, in this
world of appropriate workplace behaviour, how do I get the two of us together
outside of the office in order to find out more about him? In my position at
work I am confident and can tackle the unknown, but in my personal life I can't
seem to initiate that first step. What's a professional woman to do?
-- Tired of Following the Rules
Dear Tired,
About the photograph: good eye.
You say that you're less confident in your personal life than in your
professional life. That's common, but in the case of potential office romance,
it's also wise to be cautious. Even though love-at-work is as old as the
world's oldest profession, the days of women being suspected of sleeping their
way to the middle are not over. Especially not if Kenneth Starr has his way.
That said, you're fortunate, because the fact that he's in a different
building/department gives you a little more latitude, both in flirting terms
and in case of breakup (hey, I'm Breakup Girl -- I gotta look ahead). So
listen, you've obviously already talked to him; go talk to him again. Just go.
Don't make up stories about "toner problems" to explain why you had
to use the copier on his floor. You spotted the photo -- ask leading questions
about other stuff in his office. ("Koosh ball? I play Koosh
ball!" etc.) See where it goes. If all else fails, use this known
ice-breaker: ask if he has a welding mask you can borrow (you know, "metal
art").
Love,
Breakup Girl
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