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Dear Breakup Girl,

I have a terrific male friend who I'm very close to. It's completely platonic, and I totally love that. For a while there, I thought that he might have had a thing for me, but it was probably my imagination because all is normal again. It would seem like everything is wonderful, but it's not.

The problem is, everyone thinks we're dating, when we're really not! BG, I know what you're going to say. "Don't worry about what other people think and just do your thing," and I usually don't care. But the thing is, it's spilled over into the workplace.

It started with a half-drunken guy at a party asking if I was "Aaron's girl." Then a couple of people at school mentioned it. I wasn't worried because I know how rumors spread across tiny college campuses like ours. Then, another friend said we were "so cute" and should date each other.

I recently took a second job at the baseball stadium where he works, and one of the people we work with asked if we were "going out." I was talking to him on the phone the other day, and my mother even raised her eyebrow when I told her I was talking to Aaron. This is crazy! Just because I'm single, he's single, and we're really close friends, everyone assumes we're dating. What gives? It's really bugging me. I feel like everyone's staring at us all the time, waiting for something to happen and their hunches to be confirmed. Well, it's not going to happen, and I'm sick of not being able to hang out the way we used to! We can't even hug good bye without whispers and whatnot. If I go to see a baseball game on my day off, which I love to do, they talk about how I came to visit Aaron. If we're working the same station, everyone stares at us to see what we're going to do.

I really don't want to lose this friendship, and I'd never in a million years stop hanging out with him because of all this. But, the constant pestering strains the relationship a bit. We're not dating, we never have, and I doubt we ever will! Why do people think we're going out? Why can't they take a simple "no" for an answer? And why can't they keep their noses out of our business?!

-- Nothing More Than a Friend

Dear Nothing More Than a Friend,

Ah, yes. It is a truth universally acknowledged that two single people, any two single people, must be in want of...each other. Riiiiight. Believe me, if I get tired of saying YES, DAMMIT, MEN AND WOMEN CAN REALLY BE JUST FRIENDS, I can imagine how annoyed you must be every single day.

Why can't people butt out? Because gossip is as American -- heck, as international -- as baseball. And you know, people want people to be together, in a totally innocent and well-meaning way; that's why they sit through "You've Got Mail." Your entourage gets to watch what they think is their own private romantic comedy unfold, right there in the bleachers.

All of that said (please don't hate me!)...

Who cares what they think? So what if they think you're a couple?

I know you say "it's spilled over into the workplace," and it's always good to be careful there, but as far as I can tell, that's just giving people another place to annoy you -- not creating an employment issue per se. And you've got nothing to hide in the first place. Now, you also say the murmurs are straining the friendship, and I can see that. But it's kind of -- well, not your fault, but your doing. Why bother taking it down a notch? At least for now, they'll talk no matter what. Especially the more you deny it, verbally or body-verbally. So don't protest so much. Don't bunt. Just have your friendship. It's your life, I know, but it's just their peanuts and Cracker Jack. Quit calling foul, and they'll move on to the next play of the week.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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