That's right, BG's been kicking around HOMEhome, which is also the world capital of perfect ice cream, tragicomic baseball, and: the ubergoober. Not to mention Geek Pride. Now, I know there are important shades of difference among "nerds," "dweebs," "geeks," "dorks," and the like. But in the spirit of inclusivity, as well as rhyming, I'd like to proclaim:

GEEK WEEK
"Chicks Dig Scrawny Pale Guys"
And other big fat rays of hope

Why now? Not only because of BG's pilgrimage, but also because of the following recent news flashes:

1. Chris the Bratwurst Formerly Known as Lonely rises like a lean, mean phoenix from the Kingsford flames!
2. A study in the August issue of The American Journal of Psychiatry finds that while men want to look "of steel" -- and believe that women want them to, too -- most women cite a more Clarkkentian physique as their ideal.
3. Norwegian scientists recently reported in the journal Nature that female bluethroats, when engaging in "extra-pair copulations" (that's another story), sought out the mates who were genetically most "compatible" with them. Not, that is, the ones with inherently "good" -- e.g. strong, studly -- genes.
4. Author/Columbia University string theorist/hottie Brian Greene is currently causing exothermic reactions everywhere he goes.
5. Mikki Halpin's Geek Handbook has just hit the shelves. Includes geek history, Star Trek vernacular, and fixes for geek maladies such as Startup Syndrome.

See? Our own Rob Paravonian may sing otherwise (scroll down here), but listen. You can make your love lives do the all-important flop transition: not only do chicks dig you, but we also want to keep you.

BG's geek all-stars:

• The Geek Squad
• Housecalling geek Craig Cohen
• The Sexiest Geek Alive
• JB and the Magic Beans
• Bongo (I'm what you might call a "late bloomer.")
• Josh ("We're in Sillycon Valley, the land of the surplus single straight males.)
• Leery ("I admit, I'm a bit dorky.")
• And remember, the jocks don't always get a free ride!