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Valentine's Day

You-know-what's Day is fast approaching its December cousins in terms of hype, commercialism, and metric tons of red felt items exchanged on the open market. This consumerism comes with a backlash: who among us does not wax nostalgic for Valentine's Day the way it used to be? You know, back when saints-to-be were beheaded for performing marriages, and when — as part of V-Day's precursor, the fertility festival of Lupercalia — Romans sacrificed goats and dogs and ran through the streets whipping women with their skins. Oh, also: love and kindness and honor and sweetness. Without Mylar.

But if you think about it that way -- the love and kindness and honor and sweetness way -- shouldn’t every day be Valentine’s Day? Shouldn’t you always follow the important grade school maxim: "Everyone in the class should get one" -- ? Don’t you have enough to worry about the other 364 days? So if you are not among The Taken this year, try, try, try not to let the doilies get you down; instead, try to figure out what biliously cute and thoughtful tidbits you can dole out to folks today, tomorrow, and all year round.

And in that spirit, here’s a shoutout to Actual Couples: for all the singletons’ self-pitying ranting at this time of year, know that you are loved and welcomed today and any day, no matter how cute you are. BG knows that you all are under just as much stress as singles are, just in a different — perhaps more complex — flavor. Singles worry, "Will I die alone?", period, while partners worry, "Will I die penniless given the skyrocketing cost of doing 'enough' for someone on Valentine's Day?" or "Will I die alone and penniless because of something I somehow 'messed up' on Valentine's Day but will never understand why?" BG gets it. Just try to take it all in stride, okay? Because remember, when it comes to Valentine's day: all of that is just what they want you to think.

Related Breakup Girl Adventures
"Aliens Abducted My Heart!"
BG Scullys her way to the heart of the real V-Day conspiracy.
Valentine Saint
BG works overtime to give everyone in the world a Valentine on February 14th.

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