SHORTITUDINAL STUDY. New research shows that bachelors tend to be shorter than married men, suggesting — uh oh — that women do go for the tall guys. Upside: humans are gradually growing taller overall, and too-big bodies will wind up misaligned — so the babes will eventually seek out the shorter and more symmetrical. But while you're waiting for women to evolve, guys, seek out gals like these.

SCENT OF A MAN. Yet another new study suggests that women find men more attractive if they can sense the natural pheromones emanating from their armpits. Chemistry at its most ... chemical. But yo, Rocket from the Couch, I'd still play it cool at the gym.

HOTEL MONACO. Where BG stayed in Chicago last week. Eighties music in the elevator, fries and Cabernet at the daily "wine hour." And if you ask, they will bring you a goldfish to keep you company during your stay. I'm sure "Matisse" has been asking for me since I left.

GOREY: R.I.P. "E is for Edward, whose sad death was freakishly normal."

"...OR BOTH?" New from Muji, the boxer that fits like a brief. Quick, someone call Young'un!

THE NEW LIQUID MIRACLE BRA (tm). No goldfish.

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