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Dear Breakup Girl,

What should I get my boyfriend for Christmas? We have been only going out for a month but we are serious.

-- Michelle

Dear Michelle,

Well, missy, if you've been going out for only a month, then Breakup Girl knows this guy about as well as you do. But your letter does highlight a common problem: meeting someone just before a major gift-giving holiday. There's also the less common (but perhaps more serious) problem of meeting someone just before a non-gift-giving holiday, and giving him something anyway -- planting a tree in his honor on Arbor Day, for example.

Listen up, you guys: at the early stage, your presents should not be commanding.

DO: pick up a little something sweet, warm, or fuzzy -- chocolate, mittens, dice -- that says "Hey there, I think you're kinda sweet, warm, and fuzzy."

DON'T regale him with anything time-consuming, grand, or intimidating -- a ten-course dinner, a romantic weekend at a B&B, a mortgage -- that says "Sit here, stay here, sign here." If you do, chances are he won't be around when it is time to get something more serious.

Love,
Breakup Girl

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